Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Alexandria: Out of focus

After finally deciding there was almost a 100% chance that there was an entrance to the right hand side of the building, I carefully crossed the driveway and after passing a Van full of people who I am certain were giving me the evil eye and chortling about me in the back, I entered McDonald's.

There were 2 people being served at the counter and I watched them exchange money and goods with the Maccas chicks and wander off in my peripheral vision. I was busy pretending to read the menu board deciding what to eat, but I already knew exactly what I wanted. The lights were so bright... but that's what Christmas is all about, isn't it? A girl Made eye contact - it was bound to happen, she so thinks I'm stoned. - and paused then asked me if I was "right?". "Well that is a matter of opinion" ,I thought to myself.

"I'd like a medium cheeseburger meal please" I asked. I had convinced myself that it would be much easier than this to say those words. "I'd also like a..."

"Do you want Coke?" she interrupted.

"...soda water instead of a Coke"

She actually asked me... and I'd made such an effort to remember to ask for Soda Water.

"and and extra cheeseburger". YESSSS! I remembered everything.

She so knows I'm stoned.

I give her a $10 note. I get some change. I wait for a while. A "Manager" looks me in the eye before she hands me a bag and says "Thank you". She is still looking at my eyes. She so knows I'm stoned.

I say nothing.

"Where the fuck is my drink, bitch?", I think.

She scuttles off and re-appears with my Soda Water.

I don't remember if I thanked her. I probably did. I walk outside and wondered: Who the fuck do they think they are to to give me greaseys because I'm stoned?? The only reason I eat that shit is because I'm stoned! And the only reason I had the guts to order it is because I'm also probably a little bit drunk!

Speaking of drunk; I was down the pub with Muzz before and our conversation turned to the imminent weekly celebration of Sex and The City. From what I gather the pub has a promotion involving food and prizes. I joked with Murray that I would be a shoe-in to win the "Best Dressed Competition" (people are encouraged to dress up for a prize) with what had happened previously in regards to my careful t-shirt selection and its repercussions. Soon after an old lady walked in with a fabulous fake (Whatever the new Louis Vitton equivalent is) handbag. We said I would have no chance now. I should have more carefully accessorised.

Beers went down, pool was played, Samantha spoke about penises, trains pummelled through semi-trailers that were parked where there shouldn't have been parked. I bought more beer and gave a very generous tip of $1 (see, I must have been drunk too). Half way through my Coopers I was interrupted by the lovely Elisha(?) and was told that I was the best dressed. I was quietly handed a $25 gift voucher for Coles/Myer (but I can spend it at Kmart or Liquorland as well - it will be a tough decision).

But what happened next? How did I get stoned after I left Murray at the pub? Did I feed my neighbour's fish like I promised? What bloody t-shirt selection repercussions?

These questions and more may be answered in the next entry of "Alexandria: Out of focus"


Unconcious Mutterings

Terrify :: mesmorise

Month :: day year

Throat :: /nose infection

Invasion :: of the killer brains

Nail :: hammer

12 :: inch

Bicker :: siblings

Thomas :: the tank engine

Sibling :: rivalry

Delude :: trick

You can play too!

Xmas (is over, so) Cheer!

I'm finally sober and I've decided I can face my computer without it making me feel like I'm at work.

The last week of work was horrific; the orders just kept on coming and clients were asking for completely unreasonable delivery dates. I told them I'd sort it out next year, we'll see.

The work Xmas party was ok. The restaurant, Buon Gusto in Chippendale, was the venue. I wouldn't bother going there again. The food was boring and overpriced. I wasn't too fussed when we found out that it was an Italian restaurant, I figured some of their specials would be, well, special. They weren't, and I didn't get anywhere near as drunk as I did last year.

Chris and I managed to do all of our Xmas shopping on the Friday morning before Xmas and it all went rather smoothly. Xmas eve Jackie came over and we exchanged gifts and had a few glasses of champers.

Xmas day went to my sister's house for "brunch". Was fun watching the kids go spastic over some presents, and being not so fussed by other presents. 1 out of 3 of my presents was a winner. I wish they'd hurry up and get old enough to just want money.

We left my sister's at about 1pm and headed home so we could have lunch with Muzz. We called it boxing day eve so we could try and lose some of the Christmassyness of the day. It was so quiet and relaxed after the morning I'd shared with my family. It made me question more and more what exactly Xmas is. It's supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus to some, but then they still cram the Santa crap down their childrens' throats.

I came to the conclusion that Xmas is what you make it. I think most of it is a wank but I still had a fantastic, love filled day.

So now I sit in the void that is the week before NYE/D. It's nice knowing work is more than a week away so I am just coasting along taking life as it comes. I'm not being proactive in any way whatsoever. I'm feeling rather lazy and fat, but I can worry about that in the new year.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

merry Xmas

Yeah so its holiday season and i'm a bit pissed. hence th lack of punctuation. Santa is packing hgis sleigh full of xmas cheer and on his way to my house. i have a kick arse meme at work so look out on January 8th. Will post a pic of my tree at some point.



btw. i've kind of ben avoiding the internt and my computer for a while.... since work finished.


PPS excuse typos!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Breakdowns, Breakups and Breakthroughs.

I've just finished my work for the moment and after reading Muzz's last blog entry it prompted me to look back on the year that was. So much has happened, so much has been forgotten. The last 3 months of my life are chronicled on here, but what has stayed in my brain from the other 9 months?

When I look back on 2006 I am reminded of how hard some parts of it were. The first 5 days of January were particularly painful but as it was self inflicted I can't moan too much about that. I did get to meet Tom Middleton after all, not that I can remember much of the conversation, but I have a photo to prove it. I met him again in Mid-January and he remembered me and insisted I hadn't made a fool of myself on NYD (phew).

Big Day Out was a definite highlight. Alex and I spent the whole day together and had a marvellous time; oblivious to everyone else's wants, we just looked after ourselves. Sunburnt people made us laugh.

I started a course in Yoga in June which conincided with Chris' "job change". It was a very difficult time for both of us but I found my Yoga sessions very rewarding and energising. I ended up piking out towards the end of the course. Although I had enjoyed the sessions, they didn't fit into my routine; I would be so wired and full of energy when I got home at 9pm that I couldn't fall into a deep sleep until about 7am, and then I'd wake up tired. I'm looking forward to incorporating Yoga into my lifestyle in the mornings of 2007.

Friends have played such a huge role in my life this year.

June saw the return of old friends to Sydney; Reed and Justin moved in to the building next door and it has made such a huge difference having people you love in such close proximity. Being rockstars at home with these boys is always a pleasure.

New friends have arrived on the scene, and not a moment too soon either. Chris and I met Paul who could be my long lost brother... if I was Lebanese. We hit it off when we first met each other, and one of those friendships that feels like its always been there showed itself. In September we showed the Sleaze Ball what it was all about (Crap party, but we had a great time). Paul's partner, George is gorgeous as well. I've got lots of time for these 2 boys.

Through the internet I met Murray. It's funny to think back on our initial drunken "chat" when we were daring each other to go to Alexandria park and meet. What a couple of wusses. Murray has been a really good friend to me. I've found his enthusiasm and zest for life inspirational, he's been a breath of fresh air. He fits into the list of people who I love who are in close proximity. He also got me blogging on here so you all owe him an enormous debt of gratitude. ("Oh puh-lease!" I hear you say, and rightfully so).

Jackie has been everything anyone could want in a best friend. I think my favourite time with her this year was the day after my birthday party... drinking and being terribly politcally incorrect and crass and laughing harder than I had in a long time.

My birthday party was pretty kickarse; starting with dinner at Sri Thai about 20 of us enjoyed lovely food and cheap drinks. About 10 people, old and new faces kicked on at my place for what was a fantastic birthday celebration. All of the "usual suspects" fucked off to go see a DJ at about 9pm missing out on the festivities at my place. I must say that their absence was noted and appreciated. I'm not saying that I don't love these particular friends, but the more I look back on the year I realise I spent hardly any time with them. I enjoyed the time I did spend with them but the "group" has become so predictable and boring that I'd rather not go out of my way to see them... and I'd go out of my way not to see all of them in one place. (Raow) I guess as far as Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes is concerned, a Season is over.

I must also give a mention to Markus, who I think is now going by the name of Marco. An email titled "Do this for a free iPod" from his email address broke a silence spanning more than a year and informed me that he wasn't dead. I'm glad he's OK.

Another cool thing that sticks in my mind is the Indoor Climbing course that Murray and I took part in at the Indoor Climbing Gym. I'm looking forward to getting back on the wall this Summer... and probably falling off it as well. Repeatedly.

Chris and I have had a very tumultuous year. I think we were both pushed to our breaking points and our relationship was tested on every level. We passed with flying colours. Its quite incredible to look back on the journey we've shared to see how much we've changed and evolved in the 4.5 years we've known each other. I know I've learnt a lot about myself from being with him, particularly this year, notably that I have difficulty expressing unpleasant emotions. I think blogging has been good for me in that sense. My "Fucking Cunts" post was truly a breakthrough of sorts.

Chris also fits into the list of people I love who are in close proximity, as if it needed to be said.

So as another year comes to an end I wonder what excitement 2007 will bring. I'm not going to make any new year's resolutions just yet, but I am looking forward to the inevitable change that will enter my life bringing with it challenges, laughter and love.


Monday, December 18, 2006

Unconscious Mutterings - on demand

I'd like to dedicate these mutterings to ycheekymonkey

Hardball :: So you wanna play hardball, huh?

Sleepless :: in Seattle. (How boring is that?)

Graduation :: Hats in the air

Presents :: I love presents

Toe :: big toe

Lotion :: Reef suntan lotion... The smell of summer

Snicker :: 's really satisfies

Eve :: of destruction

Investment :: plan

Pain :: in my brain (killer track by ladyvipb)

You can play too.

The wonderful weekend

Friday night saw a great start to the weekend. The Neighbours series finale didn't disappoint with Toadie taking a bullet in the final moments. One can only hope that he dies and Katya kills herself out of guilt for his death. KT popped over just as Neighbours was finishing and although we hadn't chatted properly in ages she was thoughtful enough to let me watch the final minutes and only chat during commercials. Aren't I a terrible host?

After the shock of Toadies potential impending death had subsided, KT and I walked over to the Glenroy Hotel to enjoy a nice Thai meal in what is usually a very quiet hotel. There was an Xmas function on and there were loads of poorly dressed, straight, drunken men kissing each other goodbye and displaying other homoerotic behaviours. It was very weird. We were later joined by Chris for dinner and Katie from Sri Thai still looked after us and presented us with 3 roses as we were leaving. 2 yellow and 1 red.

I bought myself a 6-pack on the way home as I was quite thirsty. I uploaded the images from KT's camera onto my puter and we looked thru 600 or so of her snaps from Italy, Spain, Greece and Turkey. It was enough to make anyone jealous. Reed and Justin dropped in at about 9:30 and a mini-party ensued.

Saturday was spent in bed, it looked like such wonderful gardening weather outside but I found that the bedroom blinds helped me forget about my plans.

Sunday morning I felt like my hair was too long. #2 just wasn't cutting it anymore so I trimmed to #1.5... then eventually to #1. I'm loving this short hair. I think I'm going to go to #.5 this weekend and I might even go to #0 A.K.A "no comb".

After showering I chucked on my trackies and spent a few good hours in the garden. Bella and Hermes kept me company as I shovelled, trimmed and pruned. The sun felt great on my head.

We headed over to Mitchum's at about 1pm and enjoyed a BBQ steak with green salad. I downed a few beers and started feeling thirsty again so I picked up a 6-pack on the way home. Brendan, the bar guy, was interested to know what DVDs we were watching when we got home. Chris tried to make out that it was no big deal but Brendan was very curious so he thoroughly inspected our very gay DVD selection that we'd borrowed from Mitchum:

•Brokeback Mountain
•Kath and Kim Series 3
•Gimme Gimme Gimme
•Golden Girls Series 1, 2 & 3

How embarrassing.

Muzz came over to share a few beers and an episode or 2 from Gimme Gimme Gimme & The Goodies. The night (and beer) disappeared as we watched episode after episode of the Golden Girls while eating Chicken Express.

Lots of beer, junkfood and sleeping made for a top-notch weekend. And the fact that I did some gardening made up for all my overindulging.

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Soundgarden's Smelly Synchronicty

I regressed to grungerdom today. I listened to Soundgarden's Superunknown LP on the way to work and turned the volume up louder than my iPod has ever been. It's such a great album and Chris Cornell's voice is so sexy. The standout track for me on this album was always "The Day I Tried To Live" but my copy of the CD had a big scratch through that track so I haven't heard it for years and years. On Saturday I was lucky to pilfer it (and lots of other cool music) from Lloyd's iTunes library.

Its amazing how a song (or a smell) can take you back in time. The first track, "Let Me Drown" transported me back to when I was 14 listening to this album, rocking out (as Homer would say) at home, I reminisced about how simple life was back then. It didn't take me long to realise I was romanticising about my past and how much being a teenager sucked. Recently I listened to "Smash" by The Offspring and by the time I got to work I felt like something was missing, I later realised what was missing was a few "hits from the bong".

Just when I was really enjoying listening to "The Day I Tried To Live" I caught a smell in the air that took me back to my days at Alfred Johns. It instantly reminded me of getting caught singing that same song by Amy. Talk about synchronicity.

"The Day I Tried To Live"

I woke the same as any other day

Except a voice was in my head

It said seize the day, pull the trigger

Drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads

The day I tried to live

I stole a thousand beggars change

And gave it to the rich

The day I tried to win

I dangled from the power lines

And let the martyrs stretch


One more time around might do it

One more time around might make it

One more time around might do it

One more time around

The day I tried to live

Words you say never seem

To live up to the ones inside your head

The lives we make never seem

To ever get us anywhere but dead

The day I tried to live

I wallowed in the blood and mud with

All the other pigs

I woke the same as any other day you know

I should have stayed in bed

The day I tried to win

I wallowed in the blood and mud with

All the other pigs

And I learned that I was a liar

Just like you


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Beta, wtf?

I was trying to post comments on some of your blogs and it said I had to sign in using my gmail account. I took this as a subtle hint to convert over to Beta (trying to trick me into doing it every time I logged on wasn't enough).

The act of doing it was fairly painless. I have a gmail account so it was as easy as entering those details in and clicking OK.

I did this AFTER approving all your comments. I just checked out the comments and all of them have lost their author information. You are all "anonymous", you can't even take credit for your witty remarks.

See why I can be so reluctant to change? If it ain't broke don't fix it.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006


A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

Can you tell I'm not all that busy at work?

Sweet Surprise

I was just typing away and I heard a familiar laugh bellowing up the hallway; it was one of my favourite clients, Tracy. Some of you may be familiar with her emails that I forward on, although you wouldn't know it because I delete her details and claim the glory all for myself.

She'd brought in a goodie bad for all of us to share and after rushing to my desk to rub my shaved head she quickly opened up the hamper to show Robert and Patti what goodies she has for us. They were out of sight but I could hear Tracy saying, "This is definitely for Tim, oh, and this says 'Tim' written all over it."

I scored a Shrek PEZ dispenser and a Sour Spray Candy Foam dispenser that on the packet says:

CAUTION: This Candy does not cause boredom if used as directed.

With a claim like that I can't wait to spray it down my gob... if only I hadn't been pigging out on the nougat we received from another customer I'd try some now.

In My Dreams...

Last night at some point I was a hippo... fighting giant turtles... The only way I could kill them was by sucking their brains out.

I cracked myself up as well. Lloyd, Jackie, Kim and myself were in a car near Darling Harbour deciding what our plans were for the evening. Lloyd suggested a few bars and a particular gambling event at the Casino. I said I wasn't really into gambling events. Then Jackie and I sort of took the piss out of it...

In an American accent "World's Greatest Moments in Gambling"

"Come in spinner!"


And the crowd goes wild.

I thought it was pretty funny, maybe you had to be in my dream. I was also buying a cinnamon donut from some weird guy, but I was worried that his donuts weren't actually deep fried... I never got to taste it though.

Monday, December 11, 2006

My new favourite...

I'm loving this album. She's just so goddamned cute and her tunes are catchy and fun to sing and bop along too. I'm really looking forward to seeing her performance at the Big Day Out.

Unconscious Mutterings

Research :: white coats

Chuck :: Norris

Insert :: here

Bang :: bang, your dead, holding your head.

Lousy :: cunts

Rehearsal :: time

Critics :: wankers

Memory :: games

Squid :: yum

Remove :: me (from this stupid mailing list)

You can play too.

The Quiet Weekend That Wasn't

It was one of those weekends that was supposed to be quiet and really wasn't. I wanted to get the gardening out of the way but I slept through most of Sunday so that didn't happen either.

Friday night I was in bed by about 9pm. I'd had a few beers and passed out on the lounge.

I started off Saturday by shaving my head, firstly #3, then #2. Its the coolest haircut I've ever had. We just bummed around at home til about 1pm then headed to Lloyd's for a BBQ/Drinking session. We decided to get there early as to avoid the all night drinking session. I figured we'd hang around til about 6 so I'd get to see a few familiar faces and then hit the road. At 8pm it was still only Lloyd, Chris, Kim, Margaret and myself. Not the turn out I was expecting but I had another party to go to so we hit the road headed for Marrickville.

Jacki's place was cranking by the time we got there. We arrived at the same time as KT, Alex, Sara, Debs, Belinda, Annabelle and (I can't remember the other chicks name). It was a very festive affair with Xmas being the theme. I met a few new people but I'd had it in my head that I'd only stay for a few drinks then leave. So when I arrived home at 3:30 I wondered what had happened to my plan of "a few quiet drinks".
Jacki had some fabulous wardrobe changes and her new hair is fab.

Slept in until 10am, cooked some breakfast, slept some more, did a spot of shopping with Muzz and then cooked dinner for Chris, Muzz and myself. We watched "A Scanner Darkly" on DVD but I don't think I was in the right frame of mind to be watching it. The imagery was quite beautiful to watch but it was very distracting from the complex dialogue; I found the storyline quite difficult to follow but I wonder if that was the director's intention. I'll watch it again and see how I go.

So next weekend I am actually going to do the gardening on Saturday. Mark my words.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Annual Leave Debarcle Continued...

The first thing I did after vented on here was to ask the accounts lady to work out how much annual leave I had owing. When I got home Bina came over for dinner so she helped me forget about my annual leave issues. I think the height of the evening came when discussing getting a bikini wax when you are having your period. What if the string of your tampon stuck to the wax strip and got flung across the room, leaving a trail of blood and gore in its wake? This even grossed Chris out, but we all laughed until we hurt anyway.

When I finally got to bed I couldn't get the annual leave issue out of my head and I resolved that I would confront Harry first thing in the morning when I got to work. My opening line was going to be something along the lines of, "I like to say I don't have any regrets, but I really regret saying I'd work that week of my holidays". I was willing to compromise as I HAD agreed to work that week but I figure I deserved something in return.

When I got to work it was flat out. Ruth told me that after Xmas I would have 11 days annual leave which would be just enough to take Big Day Out off and have another 2 weeks afterwards... plus the Australia Day holiday. Also worth mentioning is that school kids will be locked safely in their classrooms during this time.

I wrote my request on a post it and handed it to Harry, he checked his diary and said it was OK... much like last time. "Can I get that in writing?", I said, half joking. He said, "No".

So I got some more time off, not exactly what I wanted but enough time to forget about work (I am going to make it very clear that I am going away and will be uncontactable). There was no showdown but that's probably a good thing.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Fucking Cunts!

So I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when my Boss, Harry, walked up to me with a serious look on his face, holding some documents. This looked serious. "Tim" he said - something in the tone of his voice made me think I wasn't going to like this. "you know how you said you'd come in for a day on the last week of your holidays? Would you mind coming in for 2 days?"

I really didn't like the sound of this. I only ever said I'd come in for a few hours on one day IF there was work that was URGENT. From what I can gather Harry and Robert decided to go to some trade show in Vegas that week, Patti will be in Malaysia and Ruth will be in London leaving only Vince to hold the fort. He went on to say he didn't realise, but he marked it in his diary when I told him so I think they booked the Vegas trip after my leave had been approved.

Anyway, for some stupid reason I said I'd work the whole week (what is the point of working 2 days out of one week, what kind of bullshit holiday is that?) and take some leave later on in the year. I was REALLY looking forward to taking 3 weeks off and when I booked it in with Harry he even made mention that I had done the same thing last year and I went on to say that I don't like having 2 weeks holiday as it is a waste, I like taking 3 weeks holiday so i can really unwind.

Why the fuck did I martyr myself? Is it because I didn't want Vince to be run off his feet all week when he has covered my arse so many times before.

Its Harry's mistake and I am paying for it while he fucks off to Vegas.

So what now? I've asked Ruth how much annual leave I have (I hope I have at least another 2 weeks) so i'm going to take it all in February (I just got interrupted by Harry saying we finish a day early, eating into another day of my annual leave - cunts!)

I feel like my generosity has been taken advantage of. In the past I have always taken time off around xmas so that they didn't have to hire a temp to replace me. Well fuck them! I always let them call me when I took time off in the past. Fuck that for a joke. I feel like I've been let down. It's a small company and we all have to go out of our way once in a while but my one simple pleasure is my 3 week holiday and it's been compromised.

That's enough whinging for the moment.


Monday, December 04, 2006

Unconscious Mutterings

Hello :: baby

Flinstone :: Homer

Corn :: cob

Interview :: candidate

Deviant :: me

Concept :: partners

Bridge :: run

Karen :: sux

Encounter :: of the third kind

Biological :: filter

Sunday, December 03, 2006


click here
this is my favourite

I Almost Forgot...

Chris cut all my hair off and it looks fucking hot.

The weekend so far.

Friday night Chris and I met up with Mitch and his man Paul (who we hadn't met before - lovely guy) at the Glenroy. They filled us in on their adventures to the USA and made me realise I really need to get my arse out of Australia and see some more of the world. We hadn't been to the Glenroy for a while and Katie had really missed us and spoiled us rotten to ensure we hurried back. We drank qute a few beers and got to bed around midnight.

Saturday morning we went to the Metro for a while and in my efforts to avoid making eye contact with a certain relative I ran into an old friend, Matt... so that was a a pleasant surprise... the Metro never fails to deliver. Saturday arvo I went to the gym and on the way back I discovered some wet cement. How lucky am I? I titled this one "Untitled" it is about 100m down the road from "Concrete 2"

Saturday afternoon I headed over to Billy's place. We grabbed some Japanese for dinner (sashimi, yum), had a few beers and then when Billy got all inspired he started shooting some shots of me. He spent quite a few hours trying different lighting effects and flash settings, it was quite interesting to be a part of and observing how different effects were created. He took some great shots, I'm really excited to see the results.

Woke up early this morning and had yumcha for breakfast, did some shopping at Banana Joe's. Might grab a few beers with Muzz this arvo if he is thirsty.