Thursday, April 29, 2010

Great Expectations

Last weekend was a long-weekend thanks to ANZAC day. I had plans to catch up with someone on Sunday night, and someone on Monday afternoon. Plenty of opportunity to have some fun, right? Both of them blew me off (not in a good way) at the last minute.

I was climbing the walls on Monday morning so I phoned a neighbour (who is also in my class) and we had a coffee and I had a bit of a social fix. On the way there I ran into a neighbour/friend, I promised him years ago that I would make lamb chops for him. I told him I had chops in the fridge, he was excited and told me to pick a day, so I picked Wednesday. We've been running into each other a bit lately, so I thought it would be a nice way to solidify the friendship.

Before I left work yesterday afternoon I emailed him and asked him what time he normally ate. I went home via the supermarket and picked up some last things for dinner. When I got home I started cleaning, cooking etc. I heard my phone bleep and I just fucking knew he was going to cancel.

Shit Shit Shit Shit I forgot about dinner tonight, shit shit shit shit.

Can we rain check, forgot I had something on already, shit shit shit.

This infuriated me for a variety of reasons:

1) Cancelling via SMS? Rude, gutless, tacky.

2) I blew the remainder of my pay on ingredients that I could have done without.

3) Some of my limited spare time was wasted.

I was disappointed and angry. I guess it didn't help that I'd been cancelled on twice over the weekend. I started wondering what I was doing wrong. Why have I been having so much trouble connecting with people? Do I expect too much from people?

I think I must.

The three people all had something in common, in that they are new people in my life. It made me realise that I have a whole bunch of reliable friends who I can have fun with. I love meeting new people, and getting to know them, but it would seem that new people are unreliable.

Well, fuck them, I say.

In a bid to increase fun levels in my life I've decided to plan at least one event per week with someone I love, and more importantly, someone dependable. Sure it's not spontaneous, but I'm getting a bit tired of my own company.


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