Tuesday, March 09, 2010


This past weekend I was faced by some inner demons.

I went to several bars over the weekend catching up with friends who were in Sydney from out of town, and I also tried (unsuccessfully) to have a bit of a boogie at a dance party (shit music). For the most part I found it unbearable, and didn't stay much longer than an hour at each venue.

It's no wonder I usually self-medicate with alcohol to endure blaring music, overcrowded venues and drug-fucked idiots. And why the fuck were they playing porn on the TVs in the main bar of the Oxford Hotel?

I realised that I would have had fun if I had been drinking. It's not that I think that I can't have fun without drinking, I'm just going to have to be more selective about where I socialise if I want to avoid things that piss me off. I should keep in mind that it was Mardi Gras, and everywhere was crowded, and people like to overdo it at this time of year.

I also tried to get some study done over the weekend and my brain didn't like that idea at all. I read so much, but very little of it sunk in.

I caught up with George on Sunday afternoon for a chat and something he said hit a nerve with me and it compounded with all this other shit that was going through my head. By the time I got home I was pretty down in the dumps. There are a few people I would have liked to have talked to to sort my head out, but I knew they were unavailable. It always seems to happen like that (not that it happens very often).

I stuck on a couple of episodes of Kablam and that cheered me up a bit (and made me feel a little less like a grumpy old man). Yesterday morning I sent someone an email detailing what was going on in my head and it helped me unjumble all the emotions that were overwhelming me the night before.

So I'm feeling OK today. Not great, not good, OK. And that's fine with me.

There is a drinking culture that permeates through all of Australian society. It's impossible to escape, and as long as I'm not drinking I'm going to feel a little isolated.

[I realise this isn't the cheeriest post, but it ain't balloons and confetti all the time.]



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