On being cool:

Over the last few mornings I've been catching the train to and from work because the weather has been shitty. I've been listening to so much new music lately that I got a sudden urge to listen to some of my old favourites from 10-12 years ago. This morning it occurred to me that these were the songs that I used to listen to at full-blast on my walkman on the way to and from school, hoping that everyone on the train would hear it and be annoyed by it (because I was so cool). I found myself this morning making sure my volume wasn't too loud for fear of annoying anyone.

Little Timmy's growing up.

i love Redfern

I went to the Dr this morning to try and get rid of this nasty throat infection I have. He was a bit concerned so he wanted to "swab" it. This involves shoving an oversized ear cleaner halfway down your throat. He complimented me on not flinching. I wanted to tell him my gag reflex left me years ago, but I thought it may be inappropriate.

Anyway, I went to the nearest toilet (which happens to be across the rd from a huge public housing development) because the Dr wanted a urine sample as well. I couldn't help but hear the yelling through the window. I think by their standards they were only actually talking to each other but they were either drunk, high, or only capable of yelling to communicate.

Man: But I saw you with the fucking gun.

Woman: But I live with a solicitor, I didn't know she was setting me up.

Man: Awww fuck.

I wish I heard the rest of the conversation.

Four player frenzy!

This morning on my way to work I passed an enormous pile of rubbish on the footpath. A N64 console caught my eye. Upon further investigation I discovered an N64 controller (I've been meaning to buy a couple on ebay). There was also a commodore 64 and heaps of games.

I only took the N64 controller, but I'm pretty chuffed with my find.

A while ago I bought "The New Tetris" for my N64 and was very impressed with it. A friend stole it so I bought it again recently off ebay

I need just 1 more controller to experience "4-Player frenzy!"

Hooray!

Eurovision 2008

The Eurovision Song Contest is a highlight of any year for me. I love spending Sunday afternoon sinking a few beers and laughing along with Sir Terry Wogan's hilarious commentary on performances jam-packed with woeful singing, cheesey costumes, bad hair and excessive make-up that only Europe seems to be able to produce.

This year SBS pushed the timeslot of the show back to capture a bigger Australian audience so the afternoon piss-up didn't really happen but it was still an entertaining show.

I had quite a few favourites this year. Armenia's song was probably the one I most wanted to get up and dance to, but if you missed the show I'd recommend watching
Azerbaijan's entry. It encapsulates everything eurovision should be. Bad costumes, theatrical, bad singing, bad song, bad make-up AND it came in at 8th place out of 25 countries.

(just sit tight through the 40second intro - it's worth it)



Boznia&Herzegovina took out the "WTF Award". Very entertaining.



I'd also recommend checking out Spain's entry for some entertainment.

And if you want some extreme Euro-trash, you can't go past Iceland's entry.

Russia won the competition, the song was pretty shit, but they had an ice-skater on the (very small) stage, I think that's what took them over the line.

Tim lets loose x 3

I still don't have internet at home so I'm having to blog from work when I find a spare moment.

1

Last Friday morning I organised to have breakfast with Reed and Jus. I hadn't had a whole lot of sleep the night before and I was a little hungover. I dragged my sorry arse out of bed and wandered over to our usual café anyway.

After about 10 minutes of catching up with the boys, the "Dog woman" arrived with her 2 white, fluffy yap dogs in tow. As usual they came right up to the door of the café and greeted everyone by barking. I find this particularly annoying, but I understand it is there way of saying hello to the staff whom they see every day.

This particular morning the dogs were more excitable than usual. They were barking so much that they made Jus lose his train of thought mid conversation. I turned to the dog woman and said "Excuse me", but she couldn't hear me over the dogs. "EXCUSE ME CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR DOGS UP, THEY ARE DRIVING ME NUTS".

She quickly shooshed her dogs and after a brief uncomfortable silence we got back to our breakfast.

A few minutes later Reed whispered to me, "You're my hero"

heheheh. I've been wanting to tell that stupid bitch off for months.

2

That same night I caught up with a few friends at the Oxford. A few beers down all I could smell was cigar smoke (in the middle of the bar, which is non-smoking). I realised there was a woman next to me smoking so I politely informed her that she was smoking in a non-smoking area and that she could smoke outside (5 metres away).

"Ok" she said and smiled as she looked back up to the TV screen and took another drag. I gently escorted her to the door by shoving her. She was compliant until she got about a metre from the door before she started saying "Don't you fucking touch me"

After she finished her cigar outside she came up to me and starting saying "Don't you ever touch a woman, how dare you" blah blah blah. Pointing her finger at me.

"Don't smoke in a non-smoking area"

"Ok fair enough, but don't you ever fucking touch a woman, I'll fucking kill you... " blah blah blah.

By this point I had lost interest and had started laughing at her and the people I was with were all telling her to fuck off.

She kept giving me death-stares all night. Very funny.

3

Saturday night I was hailing down a cab on Oxford St (I had patiently been waiting for 10 minutes). A vacant cab approached so I waved him down. He drove 10 metres past me to pick up a good looking mid twenties woman.

I was furious.

"That's my fucking cab" I screamed. I started running towards the cab. My friends hailed another cab down and told me not to worry.

I ran up to the cab, opened the door and gave the cab driver a piece of my mind. The woman offered me the cab but I told her she could have it. After what I'd said to the cab-driver I think he had good reason not to let me in the cab... a little too much colourful language.

I don't exactly know what happened over the weekend... but it wasn't a good idea for anyone to try and fuck with me apparently. Hopefully this week people will be a little more sensitive to my needs.

1. No barking dogs when I'm hungover
2. No smoking in no-smoking areas (duh)
3. No cab drivers who don't play by the rules (I think I might just have to avoid cab drivers all together, they seem to be getting worse)

Another post?

click for larger


It seems I have the blogging bug again.

The walls are a bit bare in the new place. I put up my Jesus pictures but the command adhesive didn't like my wall and one of them smashed. I took this as a sign to make my own art.

Here is a triptych that I have created. I intend on enlarging each image to about 600mm when we get our new fancy large format printer at work.

Do You Stink?

This could be the answer to all your problems. Thanks, Mariah.

Kids these days...

I bought my weekly ticket at Redfern station this morning, and as I made my way from the ticket booth to platform 11 I noticed some kids running in the opposite direction, obviously trying to make their train. They both had smiles on their faces as they ran. 20 metres behind them were another 3 kids in the same uniform, also running, also smiling as they huffed and puffed.

It warmed my heart to think that their biggest worry of the day might be missing out on the first 15 minutes of Maths because they missed their train.

This was a far cry from my reaction to the trick-or-treaters that were screaming "trick or treat" through my front door while I tried to enjoy my dinner last night. My instant reaction was to go and tell them to get fucked, luckily my housemate was closer to the door and apologised to the kids, telling them we didn't have anything to give them.

They said that was ok, "would YOU like a lolly?" I must say I was impressed with their guilt-trip technique for getting some sugary loot, but as a child I was always very jealous of the American holiday that is Halloween, but taking to the streets and knocking on strangers doors asking for lollies (unaccompanied by adults) seems pretty fucking stupid.

Maybe next year I should organise some "special" cookies and chocolate laxatives.

I guess I'm still a little jealous, I did have a pretty kick-arse Halloween party last year, but I think that got most of it out of my system. Is there a Halloween equivalent for "Bah humbug"? (Get fucked?)

Best Junk Mail, EVER

I just got this email at work and I got a good laugh out of it.


Subject: On a question about inevitable. Your fast help!

The men always would like,
that at them all was more, than at others.
So the strong floor is arranged.
And when the speech comes about penis …

If the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the size of the member - he dissembles. To any to the man not all the same. Penis is a pride the man, his second " I ". If want is his card in the intimate attitudes.

Imagine:
Your member will increase on 5-7 centimeters in length!
Your member on some centimeters becomes thicker!
Your sexual member will lose confusing curvature and it becomes ideal by a straight line!
You learn to supervise the moment ejaculation!

And now make a real step to this - buy our means for increase of the member

Even funnier than the email is the fact there is no link or mention of the product.
How will I ever be able to lose my confusing curvature?

I'm not THAT boring.

If I go back to the long weekend that is when my existence got a lot more boring. I felt a bit of a tickle in my throat so I missed out on a couple of events I wanted to attend. The next weekend I was broke. The next weekend I got sick on the Friday and didn't recover for 10 days or so. Last weekend I had a stupid stomach bug and didn't get up to any mischief either.

So my life has been rather uninteresting of late.

Points of interest (for me anyway - just smile and nod politely, ok?):

•C and I were invited to Dinner with Greg, Jenn and Didier and were really looking forward to it but we were still both sick in bed with that cunting virus so we missed out. We were both disappointed so when my housemate went away I took the opportunity to have a BBQ at my place. It was a really nice afternoon and the steaks were fucking enormous. I took this pic when I meant to take a pic of the steaks. Oh well.

•Club Kooky - Spooky. I'd been looking forward to this for ages but my excitement got the better of me and I got a bit too carried away early on. I still had fun but I was kind of annoyed at how the evening turned out. Best laid plans etc... Still, there is a nice pic of me and Davey.


Things I bought:

•Bed
•Fish tank - YAY!
•eyeTV (TV for my mac)
•Ottoman which folds out to a bed.

Still waiting on delivery on the bed and ottoman. I wish they'd hurry up.

Pizza a la Tim.

Yummy AND nutritious.

Praise the Lord.

"For the first time ever, there is some truth in the [reunion] rumours. We've been discussing it and it could possibly happen. I've always said, 'I don't want to do it, the past is the past. It was amazing, it was magical. We could never recreate it. But this year people have been talking about it and some of the girls have expressed an interest in doing it. There is just so much great feeling out there and I just thought, you know what, I don't want to be the person that stops it happening or stops it being a five-piece. But there have been a lot of reunions and not all of them have worked. If the Spice Girls were to get back together it would be for a very short space of time. It would be a final goodbye and a thank you to all the fans all over the world."

- Melanie C. told radio station BBC London 94.9 this week

Yay, Spicies!

a Terrific Tuesday Tale...

I pulled my headphones from my ears as I opened the door, caffeine pumping through my veins. I greeted my workmates; "Good Morning".

"Hi, Tim" they groaned.

"Yay!" I proclaimed.

They laughed. Today is going to be a great day.

:D

Mr Happy?

For some reason I always seem to be wearing my Mr Happy tank top when I'm hungover or coming down.

Do I really think I'm fooling anyone?

Personalised plates? Puh-lease!

Marty just ordered this for his new car:



I saw this on the way home yesterday:



Car? Really? No shit, Sherlock.

I must admit I do kind of like Marty's. If I ever get personalised plates, if I ever get a car, if I ever get my licence.... I'll get: