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todt

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obwmts.d..l.ol l.w.

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.m

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g.dy

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yyp

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Lsd

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fuckld

What the stock?!

Sometimes my job requires that I sift through thousands of stock photography images to find that elusive perfect shot.

I spent 2 days last week searching online only to be told that the client has decided on a black background instead of a photo that met some very specific criteria.

I found a few images along the way that made me think to myself "What the fuck!?", so I started collecting them for your viewing pleasure.


Mmmmm... don't you just love the smell of snowballs in the morning.


Hills hoists are for losers

Seeing as its over-coat weather, lets kick water all over each other!



Well Mrs Claus, sometimes it's nice to be naughty

Isn't it funny how we didn't get any mud on our clothes?


Emos

Making up words

I love making up words here are some of my favourites:

Awesome + Asymmetrical =

Awsymmetrical. The Xmas lights on their house were awsymmetrical.

Fantastic + Fascinating =

Fantascinating. The Sir David Attenborough documentary was fantascinating

And today's masterpiece:

Feng Shui + Punctuation =

Fungshuation. The fungshuation promoted a good energy flow on the poster.

Another blog

Work is so fucking slow at the moment. I've printed, scored and packed all of the place cards for my brother's wedding which is this Saturday. I also printed, cut and packed all the mass booklets.

I've read all my blogs, emailed all my estranged friends (thank you facebook).

I downloaded a new CD. (Ladytron)

I'm uninspired by Illustration Friday's Fail as a hint to draw something.

I was invited by a friend to contribute to a blog. 4 of us pass the day scouring the internet for whatever we find amusing and share it with one another vie email. We thought it might be worthwhile to share our findings with the world.

Being a blog there are of course no rules, so I uploaded something hastily to get a post under my belt.

There isn't much there, and I need to make a pretty header for the page, but stick it in your bloglines or links or whatever and come back and check it when you remember.

water cooler view down under

Better late than never

A few weeks back I went to the V Festival. It was much smaller than last year, but the crowd size was much more manageable. Bands were actually starting on time this year which was a nice change from last year.

I started off the day with Cut Copy and they were pretty fun, I had a good dance and bumped into some friends on the dancefloor.

I caught a little bit of Roison Murphy but she was kind of annoying me so I caught up with Jackie and went for a wander.

Next up was Air. Jackie and I found a nice patch of grass about 100m from the stage. We lay down and watched the clouds as we listened to the amazing sound of Air. We also got to watch the sun setting which was pretty amazing. Inm the distance it had been showering on and off all day and I wished it would rain at the festival for a bit. As we lay there on the grass a cloud came overhead and sprinkled on us for a few songs. It was beautiful. "It's God saying hello" I said to Jackie. (for the record: I'm not affiliated with any major religion)

About 10 minutes before the end of their set we got up to go and see CSS. Unfortunately for me the timetables they handed out the door was not the timetable that the bands were playing to. For this reason I only heard the last song from CSS's set which I was REALLY looking forward to. I was really fucking pissed off so we left. As soon as i got home i bought a ticket to CSS's sideshow at the metro and I saw them on Tuesday night.

Fuck they were fun.

While we waiting for them to take the stage a guy came out and decorated the stage with helium balloons. Then he started handing out helium balloons to people in the crowd.

It gave the whole concert a birthday party atmosphere. Very fun indeed. I love CSS. Lovefoxx is the shit.

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I took and uploaded this pic using mynew Lg viewty. its fucking hot

Tim lets loose x 3

I still don't have internet at home so I'm having to blog from work when I find a spare moment.

1

Last Friday morning I organised to have breakfast with Reed and Jus. I hadn't had a whole lot of sleep the night before and I was a little hungover. I dragged my sorry arse out of bed and wandered over to our usual café anyway.

After about 10 minutes of catching up with the boys, the "Dog woman" arrived with her 2 white, fluffy yap dogs in tow. As usual they came right up to the door of the café and greeted everyone by barking. I find this particularly annoying, but I understand it is there way of saying hello to the staff whom they see every day.

This particular morning the dogs were more excitable than usual. They were barking so much that they made Jus lose his train of thought mid conversation. I turned to the dog woman and said "Excuse me", but she couldn't hear me over the dogs. "EXCUSE ME CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR DOGS UP, THEY ARE DRIVING ME NUTS".

She quickly shooshed her dogs and after a brief uncomfortable silence we got back to our breakfast.

A few minutes later Reed whispered to me, "You're my hero"

heheheh. I've been wanting to tell that stupid bitch off for months.

2

That same night I caught up with a few friends at the Oxford. A few beers down all I could smell was cigar smoke (in the middle of the bar, which is non-smoking). I realised there was a woman next to me smoking so I politely informed her that she was smoking in a non-smoking area and that she could smoke outside (5 metres away).

"Ok" she said and smiled as she looked back up to the TV screen and took another drag. I gently escorted her to the door by shoving her. She was compliant until she got about a metre from the door before she started saying "Don't you fucking touch me"

After she finished her cigar outside she came up to me and starting saying "Don't you ever touch a woman, how dare you" blah blah blah. Pointing her finger at me.

"Don't smoke in a non-smoking area"

"Ok fair enough, but don't you ever fucking touch a woman, I'll fucking kill you... " blah blah blah.

By this point I had lost interest and had started laughing at her and the people I was with were all telling her to fuck off.

She kept giving me death-stares all night. Very funny.

3

Saturday night I was hailing down a cab on Oxford St (I had patiently been waiting for 10 minutes). A vacant cab approached so I waved him down. He drove 10 metres past me to pick up a good looking mid twenties woman.

I was furious.

"That's my fucking cab" I screamed. I started running towards the cab. My friends hailed another cab down and told me not to worry.

I ran up to the cab, opened the door and gave the cab driver a piece of my mind. The woman offered me the cab but I told her she could have it. After what I'd said to the cab-driver I think he had good reason not to let me in the cab... a little too much colourful language.

I don't exactly know what happened over the weekend... but it wasn't a good idea for anyone to try and fuck with me apparently. Hopefully this week people will be a little more sensitive to my needs.

1. No barking dogs when I'm hungover
2. No smoking in no-smoking areas (duh)
3. No cab drivers who don't play by the rules (I think I might just have to avoid cab drivers all together, they seem to be getting worse)