Great Expectations

Last weekend was a long-weekend thanks to ANZAC day. I had plans to catch up with someone on Sunday night, and someone on Monday afternoon. Plenty of opportunity to have some fun, right? Both of them blew me off (not in a good way) at the last minute.

I was climbing the walls on Monday morning so I phoned a neighbour (who is also in my class) and we had a coffee and I had a bit of a social fix. On the way there I ran into a neighbour/friend, I promised him years ago that I would make lamb chops for him. I told him I had chops in the fridge, he was excited and told me to pick a day, so I picked Wednesday. We've been running into each other a bit lately, so I thought it would be a nice way to solidify the friendship.

Before I left work yesterday afternoon I emailed him and asked him what time he normally ate. I went home via the supermarket and picked up some last things for dinner. When I got home I started cleaning, cooking etc. I heard my phone bleep and I just fucking knew he was going to cancel.


Shit Shit Shit Shit I forgot about dinner tonight, shit shit shit shit.

Can we rain check, forgot I had something on already, shit shit shit.


This infuriated me for a variety of reasons:

1) Cancelling via SMS? Rude, gutless, tacky.

2) I blew the remainder of my pay on ingredients that I could have done without.

3) Some of my limited spare time was wasted.


I was disappointed and angry. I guess it didn't help that I'd been cancelled on twice over the weekend. I started wondering what I was doing wrong. Why have I been having so much trouble connecting with people? Do I expect too much from people?

I think I must.

The three people all had something in common, in that they are new people in my life. It made me realise that I have a whole bunch of reliable friends who I can have fun with. I love meeting new people, and getting to know them, but it would seem that new people are unreliable.

Well, fuck them, I say.

In a bid to increase fun levels in my life I've decided to plan at least one event per week with someone I love, and more importantly, someone dependable. Sure it's not spontaneous, but I'm getting a bit tired of my own company.

it's pronounced "piss-chick"

A friend of mine who is a counsellor whom I have a very close and open friendship with sent me an SMS out of the blue this morning saying:

You've been popping into my head all morning. How are you? All OK?

I replied:

Sure, I'm fine, just a little conflicted over some stuff that has happened in the last couple of days.

I ended up elaborating a little on what was confusing me. Essentially my gut feeling was fighting with my tendency to see the best in people. My friend happened to have first hand experience with the person causing the conflict and happened to have some information pertaining to said conflict.

Fucking tops.

Hooray for psychic friends.

better late than whatever

Nothing better to do

This year I decided on four priorities that I wanted to focus most of my energy on:

1) Go to New York City

I've bought tickets, booked some accommodation, and savings are slowly growing. I'm on my way!

2) Study

I've been pretty good with my studies. I've done most of my reading, and I've practically finished two essays that aren't due in for another two weeks.

3) Health/Fitness

Not drinking since January has definitely improved my health, but my fitness is still in need of some work. I walk to and from work each day (25 minutes), but I need a bit more of a challenge. After work today I am starting the Couch to 5km program. In nine weeks I should be able to run 5km non-stop. My diet is fucked, but I am slowly working on that.

4) Fun

I just realised that fun is at #4 in my priorities. This is in complete violation of my mantra, fun is number one. I must be getting old. I'm not having as much fun as I usually do, but this is in part because I am not spending as much money on fun as I used do, as well as an increased study workload. I have a new friend who is also studying and claims to want to do fun and cheap things, but every time I check his facebook he seems to be off to the Opera House, or a $150 dance party.

So I guess I'm slowly getting there. It's nice to reflect on my progress over the last few months. It seems that I just need to have more fun, I used to know how to do that...

totes artistical and shit.

I've been holding off on this post because I was hoping to receive some good news to share, but it doesn't appear that it's going to happen.

I am a member of a fan-page on Facebook called "Gay Boys with Beards". It's probably one of the most active pages I've become a fan of. It's quite fun and there is a nice sense of community on there, not to mention lots of nice eye-candy.

A couple of weeks ago the guy who runs the page set the members an artwork challenge. I accepted the challenge along with 20 or so other members. The winner was supposed to be announced over a week ago, and according to the votes, I won.

There has still been no word, and I'm a bit pissed off to be honest. I contacted the guy and he said he's moving so, "I'll get to it shortly I promise". Anyway, that was four days ago... and he hasn't stopped updating other stuff on the site.

So here is my winning entry. I think my self-portrait is more effective, but I still like it. I'd like to do some portraits of my beardy friends.